how could this be ?

no matter how hard i try to leave it behind and change , i couldnt .

jus like how th title of my blog is . i tried changing th name for th fourth time , and when i refresh and review my blog again , that name still appears . it has never happen this way before .. so yeah if u guys might be wondering why is my heading of my blog is that name , yeah i cant change it cause i dunno either . it will still appear th same title/name . its damn hard . i jus wonder how u done it so easily to forget everything .

oh fuck i cant help it .

i hate myself for being this way . my life has never been so complete before . well , it was but only for two months plus . i want my life to feel complete , by jus doing it myself .. jus myself .. but i cant . and why is that so ? and i dunno either .. th more i move on , th more i bounce back . so i dunno .. im giving up . im jus sitting here , jus feeling what i want and not fighting against it cause there aint any point . in th end , i still fall in th same hole . i ever wanted to text you . i even type shit loads , jus asking hows life and all , and in th end when i was about to scroll down to ur name , i dont even dare to press on it . in the end , i pressed back and delete everything that ive type and switch off my phone , and went to sleep .

i wanna call you , but im scare .

i wanna call you , but would u pick up ?

i wanna call you , but how to pretend as thought nth had ever happened and jus talking to you like how th first time we met ?

i wanna call you , but how do i even say " hi , how do you do ? "

i wanna text you , but im scare .

i wanna text you , but i dont even dare to type anything .

i wanna text you , but how do i start ?

i wanna text you , but would you reply ?